A lot has happened in the past couple of months. I got laid off from the newspaper and was given 2 months notice to find another job in this economy. Something which is considered absolutely impossible, I've managed to pull off.... The downside is like the rest of population it came with a major paycut. The offers just weren't as generous as they were, say 3 years ago. Even my friend who works in the city in legal had to take a $10k paycut in salary. I didn't feel as bad but the looming debt that is to be accrued definitely scared me.

So the new job is great. Been there about 3 weeks. I'm definitely learning something that's more in line of my field and not being bored in an industry that's dying off in 10 years. It's refreshing to be challenging and at the same time I am terrified. I'm in a whole new terrified and panic sets in on a daily basis. When I panic I get nervous and then my precision is compromised. I'm screwing things up left and right, taking a lot longer to get things done and it's nerve wrecking that they might see I'm not as qualified as I may have showcased myself to be.

Maybe it's just paranoia. I don't know. But being the new person definitely doesn't help. All the attention is focused on me and I just saw another job posting on Craigslist for the area and the immediate thought that popped in is "OMIGOD ARE THEY REPLACING ME ALREADY?!"

We'll see what happens in the next few weeks. I am picking things up to do things on my own more and more, but at the same time I don't know if it's the owner's wife that isn't helping my situation settling in. As my co-worker put so accurately, "She's like a bull in a china shop." She goes around thrashing and asking questions on projects she has no concept on what's going on, and making things worse when they really aren't that bad. So her abrasive attitude makes me more nervous because I'm trying to go as unnoticed as possible while trying to pick things up as quickly as possible. But I feel if I pace myself then they might thing I'm too slow.