I dreaded the moment I realized that I was officially "old". I've been having back problems that started late last year and I kept hearing the saying "Once you start having back problems, it never really goes away." So, after 4 months of frustrating trips to 3 different chiropractors who all told me the best route is 6 months of therapy to even START to feel a relief in pain, I called my regular practitioner and screamed I NEED DRUGS! I could not function. On my best days I could walk a few feet without wincing in pain and slightly turn without turning my entire body.

She gave me muscle relaxers to help me sleep more than 4 hours during the night, and then anti-inflammatory during the day. Both of which knocked me out within 10 minutes of ingestion. But I was back to my old self in 3 days. That's right... 6 months?!? HA! You want me to fork over $30 a session, 3 days a WEEK, for 6 GODDAMN MONTHS?! I feel better in 3 DAYS with only $12. You. Cannot. Even. Come. Close. To. Beating. That.

Now to the actual point of this post: I must've slept wrong early last week, because I woke up with my neck so stiff I couldn't move it more than half a degree without screaming in absolute agony. By mid-day my poor neck was screaming out as if it were supporting the head of an elephant. Then of course it effected my back and even the leftover drugs took some time to get me back on track.

My mother making me feel extra old suggested I get the pillow grandma uses. Those memory foam contoured pillows to help with neck support while you sleep. After groaning and griping about it I bought a set that was 2 for $25. As soon as I got it I was high from the chemical smell it emanated, but once that subsided it wasn't all too bad. In fact after the first hour I really did feel a difference. I gave the extra one to lil sis since she was talking about having lower back problem, to which I immediately shoved the pills down her throat, telling her you do not want it to get to the point where you become immobile.

The pillows presented a new problem in the house, however. During the first night I eased into my new pillows and immediately fell asleep. Mid night however my 10 lb. toy poodle managed to maneuver my head off the pillow and sprawled himself on it. He was literally on this thing as if it depended on his life. I reached over to pick him up and move him back to his corner of the bed, but then the bastard started growling with the murderous intent that if I so much as even attempted to do what I was going to do, I was going to lose my hand, and possibly a large portion of my forearm.

I woke up in the morning with the same story from my sister. Her dog, who weighs all of like 7 lbs. won't even let her get near it. If she gets close to the pillow he'll dart out of absolutely nowhere to pounce on it and won't budge until he's convinced we've forgotten about it. We both looked each other and just shook our heads. This was a battle that was not going to be won.

I've already gone ahead and ordered another set.